A Recipe For Trouble
by suaviorXchu
Summary: Mix together equal measures of Hikaru and Kaoru. Add a sprinkling of Boredom and apply Alcohol liberally. Serve hot and steamy. Season generously with sex for a perfect recipe for Trouble...
1. Chapter 1: All I Want For Christmas

When I least expect it I feel Hikaru's fingers slip into my lap.

'Hikaru, you're drunk,' I slur. He just laughs at me.

'You're drunker,' he retorts and he doesn't move his hand. I am sitting half on Hikaru's lap my head resting on his shoulder and I can't remember the last time I felt this happy. Hikaru and I have known where the key to the drinks cabinet is for as long as we can remember but this is the first time we have actually used it. When our parents told us we would have the house to ourselves we didn't _intend _to get drunk on Amaretto. But we got bored.

Hikaru's right, you're supposed to get drunk at Christmas. Although technically it is not Christmas for a fortnight.

'Another drink for the gentleman?' Hikaru tips a little more of the amber liquid into my glass without waiting for a reply, though not all of actually slops inside.

'You got some on me.'

'Sorry.'

My drink sparkles like liquid gold, capturing small fragments of the lights of the room but I don't admire it for long, gulping it down. I can't taste it anymore but I feel it, travelling down my throat into my stomach, like a tiny fireball. I wonder why I was worried earlier about drinking. Something that feels this good can't possibly be bad, can it? And to be honest I really don't care anymore.

I start telling Hikaru a hilariously funny joke. I am amazing even myself with my sudden wit even though I am not quite sure what I am saying and I have forgotten the punchline. Hikaru giggles anyway, giggling at me, and soon we are laughing so that we can't stop.

It's so hot in this room. The heating is turned up high and a fire crackles in the hearth, spitting occasionally in disapproval as it watches Hikaru and I getting gradually more drunk and gradually more stupid. The tinsel and shiny green leaves of the Christmas foliage, draped in strategic points about the room for decoration, sparkle, reflecting the unpredictable dancing flames and Christmas lights.

'Hey Kaoru,' I hear Hikaru say softly.

'Mmm?'

'Mistletoe.' Hikaru points to the little sprig of unmistakable green leaves and glistening white berries. I sift through my alcohol-drenched brain, trying to remember what is so special about mistletoe. Hikaru gets impatient.

'Hikaru? Wh- … Mmm.' I remember now. Hikaru's lips are on mine, caressing them softly, and my eyes slip automatically closed. His lips feel dry and sticky from the alcohol and the heat but he licks them, making them slippery. I am about to protest that it's disgusting but he is pushing his tongue against _my _lips now. He slips it in-between them, grinning at my grunt of complain. It's disgusting… But it feels incredible.

My tongue gets bored of sitting still and I push it against Hikaru's. Our lips and mouths are dancing a slow erotic tango and it's leaving me breathless. I lean across Hikaru's chest and the glass still clasped in my hand slips out of it and lands on the floor with a muffled thud. The liquid seeps out, instantly absorbed by the thick carpet, but I barely register it.

Suddenly Hikaru pushes me away and stands up. He walks carefully across the floor without staggering, to stand directly under the mistletoe. I am curious and a little annoyed; I was enjoying myself.

I gradually register that the song playing on the plasma screen has changed. We have our favourite music channel switched on but this close to Christmas all that are playing are Christmas hits. Hikaru and I would complain that they're boring if we had company but secretly we quite like these corny old songs.

Hikaru stands, swaying slightly, under the mistletoe. I recognise the song that's playing and watch curiously, wondering what he is doing.

'I don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need.'

I watch in amazement. Hikaru is even a beautiful singer when he is drunk, although the part of me that is still thinking rationally, that I am ignoring, tells me he is a little out of tune and singing at a different time to the music. I take another swig straight from the bottle and the singing is perfect.

Hikaru's voice is husky, deliberately seductive. As he sings he drags his hands up over his chest, pulling his top up with them. He pulls it over his head, tossing it aside on the floor, accidentally tousling his hair. I want to smooth it down, just to touch him. I am slouched on the sofa but I pull myself up straight. I don't want to miss a moment of this.

Hikaru's hands are at the button of his jeans now and his eyes, sparkling amber like the liquid in the bottle, dare me to look away. I can't. He flicks the button open slowly, so slowly, he pulls down the zip and at the same time he gives me a little smirk and _winks_. I now have an erection so huge that I feel sure that, with a couple of baubles and a little tinsel, it could rival our magnificent fir tree in the corner. Not doing anything about it is painful and I slip my hand between my legs, tilting my hips up as I touch myself. I notice Hikaru's cheeks flush as he watches me.

'I don't care about the presents, underneath the Christmas tree,' he continues regardless, pushing his jeans down fluidly so that they pool at his feet. Well two can play at that game.

I stand up. I take over the next line of the song, though is my main objective is to turn Hikaru on, not stay in tune.

'I just want you for my own,' I murmur pulling off my top, 'More than you could ever know.' I kick off my jeans, revealing to Hikaru just how hard I am. We are moving closer and closer together as we sing until we are standing inches apart.

'Make my wish come true,' Hikaru whispers and he runs his hand down my back and inside my boxers, cupping my behind and yanking my hips forward to grind against his. We slowly push each other's boxers down as we sway blissfully to the music.

'All I want for Christmas…' We both sing in unison, '… is you.'

Hikaru steps back now that we are both naked so we can see each other. It becomes a challenge, who will snap first at the sight of his aroused, horny, naked twin?

It is dangerous to meet Hikaru's gaze. It is dangerous to run my eyes down Hikaru's pale chest, creamy in the light of the fire. It is dangerous to run my eyes up his slender, strong, perfect thighs; I want them wrapped around me so badly. I can't stop myself from glancing in between his legs at his throbbing, red, flushed erection. I can even see a bead of pure white, glistening at the tip of his length like one of the milky white mistletoe berries above our heads. He is turned on because of _me. _

I can't take it any more and at the exact same moment he can't take it any more. We both step forward, meeting directly under the mistletoe, grasping each other's bodies desperately. The rhythm of the song has changed and the rhythm of our bodies' changes too, from slow to fast. We kiss frantically our chests pressed together, as though loosening the hold we have on each other would tear us apart. My hands are wound into Hikaru's hair and his hands slide down my back to rest on my bum.

It is not long before we break apart, gasping, and there is no time for teasing now, no time to slow down. We are both so desperate, so shamelessly turned on that Hikaru doesn't even need to murmur in my ear, 'Shall we go next door?'

Our small cosy sitting room where we have been watching TV is right next to our bedroom and I am glad. We both know we won't be satisfied with just kissing tonight. The bedroom is cool and dark and I scamper straight under the thick duvet on our bed, holding it up for Hikaru to slip in beside me. His erection drags across my thigh as we snuggle down next to one another and I purr in appreciation. The safety of the semi-dark room and our bodies hidden under the covers give me a sudden sense of confidence and mischief. I reach down and wrap my fingers around Hikaru's erection, gaining his full attention instantly.

Very gently… I squeeze. Hikaru's eyes widen, his expression obscured by a mist of lust. He runs his hand across my chest, over a nipple, lower. I tremble as his hand slides closer, closer, and then he is doing the same to me as I am doing to him. He makes me moan softly.

With no words, with only one look for confirmation, we both move our hands, slowly at first. I am stroking Hikaru the way I always touch myself and from his reaction he likes it the same way as me. I arch into Hikaru's touch; I can't get enough of his hands. I want Hikaru to move faster so I speed up myself and he starts groaning every time I drag my hand down his erection. I moan too; Hikaru has never looked as gorgeous as he does now.

I feel so hot under the duvet, I am burning up and as Hikaru and I kiss, the movement of our hands not ceasing for a moment, I feel the heat emanating from Hikaru's moist skin as well. He smells so nice, the way that he always smells but intensified, a smell no words could describe.

We are both moving our hands frantically now and Hikaru is making loud animalistic groaning noises that I have only ever heard before coming out of my own mouth. The heat pools in between my legs and the tension there is increasing with every movement of Hikaru's hand. I don't want this moment to be over but I need some form of release; I badly want to come and I am going to any minute.

'H-Hika,' I gasp out, feeling as though I should warn Hikaru.

'Go on,' he moans. He knows exactly what I am trying to tell him and he strokes me even faster. I come violently; spurting bursts of white fluid all over Hikaru's fingers. My back arches involuntarily as my muscles clench. I feel Hikaru coming too, the liquid dripping down over my hand. I don't even realise how much noise I am making until I hear Hikaru's voice in my ear: 'Kaoru, ah… AH,' and I realise I was moaning in the same way.

We lie still now, our arms and legs tangled. I feel exhausted and I am suddenly aware of my heart thumping hard. I move my hand and place it on Hikaru's chest and I can feel his heartbeat too, matching mine.

'I love you Hikaru,' I blurt out spontaneously and he leans forward giving me a quick peck on the lips before flopping back onto his pillows.

'I love you too,' he murmurs softly.

And just like that we fall asleep in each other's arms.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed this!

I know they don't actually _do it _in this fic but I am going to add other chapters and they definitely will in those xD. For now though it is complete. And I own neither Ouran nor the song _'All I Want For Christmas Is You' _by Mariah Carey.


	2. Chapter 2: Last Night

The first thing I register when I wake up is my head. It _hurts_. The pain is so intense that I have to clench my eyes shut and I pull an arm out gently from underneath Kaoru to massage my temples. Thankfully the pain dulls a little and lets me think. All this happened because I was drinking, I remember that. I groan at my own idiocy but I still feel as though something is missing. Something else happened last night…

Suddenly, as though Kaoru is a live cable, I wrench myself away from him. I notice that I still have traces of his cum on my fingers and it prompts a flood of memories. All the events of last night bombard my aching head and I groan again. We have kissed before but we have never done _this _before. I can hardly believe my behaviour last night, clawing and licking at Kaoru like a possessive cat. I can make out an angry scratch mark on his neck peeking out from under the covers, a stark contrast to his pale skin. I suppose subconsciously I have always wanted Kaoru like this and the alcohol handed him to me on a platter. It scares me. It scares me because… I wanted more.

As I watch Kaoru stirs in his sleep and I quickly settle back down, closing my eyes. I don't want him to wake up and see me staring. It is so comfortable in our bed with Kaoru's body touching mine, his chest rising and falling as he breathes. I listen to him breathing and slowly shuffle imperceptibly closer so that I can bury my nose into his hair, which is splayed out over the pillow. I breathe in deeply and slide my hand into his hand under the covers. I suddenly feel overwhelmed, not with desire but with a fiercely protective affection.

Kaoru moves closer to me automatically and his free hand slips against my lower stomach. Maybe I do feel a _little_ desire… But his hand only lingers there briefly. I sense him waking up as his fingers twitch and he moves his hand. I exhale slowly, only now realising I have been holding my breath.

'Hikaru?'

I keep my eyes closed but I feel his body move past mine and a cold breeze wafts down under the duvet as he tries to sit up. He squeaks then lowers himself carefully back down onto the pillows. His head, I'm sure, is as bad as mine is.

'Hikaru, I know you're awake,' Kaoru murmurs weakly. Resigned, I wrench my eyes open, finding myself staring into his. I roll onto my side towards him, propping myself up on my elbow.

'How's your head?'

'Terrible.'

'Me too.'

I notice a ruffled tuft of Kaoru's hair sticking up at the back and using this as an excuse I pull my arm out of the warm cocoon of our covers and stroke his hair lightly. Kaoru closes his eyes in bliss.

'Hikaru?'

'Hmm?'

'Last night.'

There is a pause. My hand falters briefly but I continue stroking Kaoru's hair because it is comforting to me as well.

'I'm sorry.'

Kaoru is apologising? I cast desperately about in my mind for something to say.

'W-What do you mean?' I stutter after a moment.

'For what we did last night. You know…' Kaoru gestures vaguely. I am still lost for words. He can't mean that he didn't want to do it? But… He acted like he wanted this. I withdraw my hand now. It feels cold against my skin as I slip it back down under the covers.

'Kaoru… are you saying… you regret it?'

'Do you Hikaru?' We both know Kaoru has just dodged my question and I don't bother to give an answer either. _Of course I don't regret it!_ I want to scream. _How could I regret something that felt so right? _

'But last night.' I mutter, 'You wanted to…'

'I thought I did… But now my head aches and I feel sick. It's not worth it.'

Kaoru turns his back on me sliding to the edge of the bed and gingerly gets to his feet.

'Where are you going?' I demand. I am frustrated; I don't feel as though the conversation is over yet but Kaoru is walking away from me.

'I need a shower. I feel dirty.'

I gasp but Kaoru doesn't look at me.

'We should think before we do things,' he tells me, still not turning round. I am sure he means _you _should think before you do things and it stings as though Kaoru has slapped me. Kaoru's opinion is one of the few I care about and this cold indifference makes me want to scream or cry or do _something._ The loving, passionate Kaoru that I knew last night has dissolved as I was sleeping to be replaced by a harsh twin that I don't recognise.

I run my eyes over his smooth back and I drink the curves of his shoulder blades and the gentle sloping ridge of his spine. They look the same… I am overcome with a sudden urge to trace my finger down the line of his back. I curl my hand into a fist. I suppose _my _back looks the same but I never see this angle of myself.

I don't love Kaoru for his looks. I love my brother because when I wake up in the morning next to him I never have to worry that I am not looking my best. There are never any awkward silences between us. We share our food, share our clothes, share our lives. I love the way he looks, but only because his looks are a part of him. I know I am gay but I am attracted to my twin's personality just as much as I am attracted to his body.

'Kaoru, do you blame me?' I ask, hoping he will spin around in shock and ask me what the hell I am talking about. He does turn but slowly.

'I don't blame you,' he says uncertainly. 'But… It _was _your idea to drink.'

There is nothing I can say to that. He is right. I am horrified to feel my stomach suddenly clench, the way it does when I am about to cry. My eyes water. I'm _not _crying. I duck my head quickly so that my hair hides my eyes. I am embarrassed and angry that Kaoru has the power to hurt me so easily.

'Go shower.' I order him and I am very grateful that my voice doesn't break or tremble while I say it. Kaoru does as I tell him, turning away from me and I glance up as he crosses the room. Before I would have felt a thrill of guilty pleasure from the sight of Kaoru, naked, heading to the bathroom but now I just feel guilty.

I try to think calmly but by now thoughts are racing each other around my head. Kaoru regrets last night. He feels sick, he feels dirty for being with me. The thought that he touched me makes him feel sick. The way that I touched him makes him feel dirty.

For once we are different. When _I_ think about last night the memory turns me on despite my hangover. I would happily still make Kaoru come at any time of any day. When he was gasping my name last night I felt so happy that I had to ability to make Kaoru feel good. The way he makes me feel is indescribable and I want to share the feeling. Maybe I just wasn't doing it right. I was drunk after all.

I think of Kaoru _wet_ in the shower and I struggle out of bed, pausing for a second when I stand up to let the nauseous feeling in my stomach settle. I pad across the floor. When I reach the bathroom door I am strangely relieved to find that Kaoru hasn't locked it, he has left it ajar as usual. I peer through the crack.

Kaoru is standing in the centre of the white porcelain shower and I am thankful we have a system that stops mirrors and the glass of the shower from steaming up. I can see every inch of Kaoru perfectly. The solid-silver showerhead in Kaoru's hand gleams and casually reflects the soft bathroom lights as he moves it. As I watch Kaoru replaces the showerhead in its hook on the wall and lets the water stream over his head and down his body.

He squirts some shampoo into his hand but the bottle is nearly empty and the white liquid shoots out in sporadic bursts. It looks so much like cum that I am surprised for a split second when Kaoru raises his hand and massages the liquid into his hair. I know he loves the smell of that shampoo, we both do, but I am surprised to hear Kaoru's contented sigh, loud enough to be audible over the water. Slippery cascades of bubbles glide casually down his chest and his thighs until they disperse, replaced by the crystal clear, steamy water.

I will myself to look away. I feel bad for leering at him but I can't drag my eyes from his body. I slip my hand in between my legs and touch myself, dragging my hand slowly up and down my penis. I am already aroused, just the sight of Kaoru can get me hard sometimes.

I am touching myself the way Kaoru touched me last night. I watch him for a while then close my eyes as the pace of my hand increases and summon up the memories of last night. Kaoru moaning, his penis twitching under my hand, his face contorted into an erotic groan as he came… Suddenly a phrase floats to the front of my mind. 'I feel dirty.'

My eyes fly open. I have never felt so sick in my life. I am disgusted with myself. I need to get away from Kaoru I realise. He doesn't want me and I want him, we can't both be satisfied. I have never been very good at resisting temptation.

Once, when we were seven, Kaoru and I were both given expensive tubs of delicious chocolate ice cream, imported from Belgium. I scoffed mine completely in one go but Kaoru saved half of his and left it in the freezer overnight. That evening when we were both tucked up in bed together and Kaoru gave my hand one last squeeze before his eyes fluttered closed, I couldn't sleep. I got hungry. The ice cream kept drifting to the front of my brain and I kept thinking how delicious it would be just to have a little bit, one mouthful, Kaoru would never know. It would be dangerous to go and get it. It was something I couldn't have… But this just made me want it more. Eventually I snuck downstairs but once I started I couldn't stop and in the end I finished the whole tub.

The moment it was gone I regretted it. I felt so greedy, so selfish, so _weak_. I woke Kaoru up sobbing. He forgave me straight away but I couldn't stop crying until my eyes were red and my skin prickled from the salty tears. Kaoru made me bathe my face then hugged me tight. 'I forgive you, I don't mind,' he kept saying but that just made me feel worse. If he were angry I would have felt less guilty.

I know that I haven't changed. And Kaoru is a thousand times more tempting and more delicious than chocolate ice cream. I am thinking now, flicking through possibilities in my head. If I do something to Kaoru that he doesn't want to happen how could I hope to make up for it? Back then I saved up money that our mother gave me for modelling some of her designs, and bought Kaoru a new tub of ice cream. But Kaoru's virginity couldn't be bought back. Kaoru and I are rich. But money won't solve every problem.

I rummage in my tired, hungover brain for a solution and one idea nudges me insistently. I have to leave. If I left, just for a couple of days, then I could train myself to resist Kaoru. If I force myself to go cold turkey then I'm sure I will be able to go back to him and things will be just the way they always have been. It's hard though. I try to remember the last time we were apart for a significant length of time but I am a little shocked when I realise can't remember ever being apart from Kaoru. I definitely need to get away. That's probably the reason I am so obsessed with him…

A tiny part of me, a tiny selfish part, wants to hurt Kaoru like he has hurt me. I can't help thinking that Kaoru deserves a little worry for rejecting me. I try to think like this: it makes it easier to make a decision to leave. I wonder if he really will worry about me…

I have decided. I peek into the bathroom – Kaoru is conditioning his hair now – he will dry it. He will probably style it too, the way we like it, although he doesn't always bother when we are at home alone together. Either way I have enough time.

I am in a hurry now. I walk into our wardrobe and pull on some boxers, some jeans, a T-shirt and a warm jacket: I don't know how cold it will be outside. I would just drag on the same clothes I was wearing yesterday as I don't like wearing clean clothes when I haven't washed but I can't. We left them strewn out on our living room floor and they will have been gathered up by now and I won't see them again until they are back hanging, neatly ironed, in our wardrobe. The process is as predictable as the leaves in our garden that the gardener rakes into shrivelled piles in autumn but that reappear, fresh and new and full of possibility, hanging on the spring bushes.

I tear around the room silently, throwing some possessions and clothes into my school bag and hurling the books that were previously in it out onto the floor. I check I have my wallet and phone twice, and my keys – I will be coming back. I would like to take my toothbrush and some deodorant too but they are both in the bathroom. I glance around to see if there is anything I have forgotten and my eye falls on a small tub of Vaseline. I throw it into my bag on a whim. My lower lip is cracked where I have been chewing it anxiously.

I cannot leave Kaoru without an explanation but I am not strong enough to say goodbye to him and keep my resolve to leave. I grab a pen and rip page after page out of my school notebook, trying to find the right words to explain, and eventually I am done. As I am scrawling Kaoru's name on the front of the folded piece of paper I remember something I have forgotten and quickly scribble a quick note on the bottom. The sudden noise of the hair dryer makes me jump and I shove the note onto Kaoru's pillow and scramble to my feet.

I allow myself one last careful cautious look at Kaoru. With his hair blown back attractively by the dryer he could be a model in a shampoo ad. I grab my bag, hooking it onto my shoulder. 'Good bye,' I whisper.

Leaving is easy. I will slip down the stairs and out through a side door that usually only the maids use. It will be easy to slink into the trees that fringe our gravel drive and if I run all the way out of our estate I know no one will see me. The gate will be open this time of day for deliveries. Then I can call for a cab and find a hotel to stay in.

But as soon as I step outside our room the tingle of an adventure that I had when I was packing dissolves. I feel empty. And lost. And alone.

'It's for Kaoru,' I mutter under my breath as I force my legs to take cautious steps down the route my head has planned. Leaving is hard. But I can do it for Kaoru.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed this!

Chapter three: Kaoru realises Hikaru has left...


	3. Chapter 3: One Big Misunderstanding

I close my eyes. I am angry with myself. It is not often that I snap at Hikaru but it is not often that I feel quite this sick either. I shouldn't have acted as though it was his fault though. I am just as much to blame. He didn't force-feed me alcohol. Instead… He gave me bliss I had never dreamed I could feel.

If I am honest the reason I didn't tell this to Hikaru just now was because I was embarrassed. I should have thanked him for the… hand job I suppose it was, instead of nagging him. I groan as I squirt shampoo into my hand and massage it onto my head, letting the warm, steamy water softly erase all traces of Hikaru from my body, except for the small shallow scratch mark on my chest. I trace over it, running my finger along the mark Hikaru has given me. I am in no hurry for it to heal.

_Mmm…_ That's better. The warm water has not only soothed my uneasy stomach a little but now I don't feel sticky and dirty and sweaty anymore. I told Hikaru that I felt dirty, hoping that he would take the initiative and come and shower with me. My cheeks flush a little as I think how much more fun this would be if _he _were the one cleaning me. And maybe if I touched him… he would touch me back. Or even go further than that.

But Hikaru was strangely quiet when I told him. Maybe it's time for _me_ to make a move. Grinning I turn off the water and shake myself dry like a dog. I wrap a towel around my waist firmly; I don't want Hikaru to attack me before I get a change to seduce him. Then I realise how vain it is to assume I am irresistible and I grin even more widely.

Turning on the hair dryer so that I don't drip all over Hikaru, I plan what I am going to do. First I will walk over to my lazy twin, who I am sure will still be sprawled out on the bed. I will crawl up to Hikaru and lean over as though I am going to kiss him. Then just as his lips part to receive my kiss, just as his eyes begin to slip closed… I will pull away. Instead of kissing him I will speak to him in the slow erotic voice I like to use.

'You'll have to try harder than that _Hikaru_. You left me to shower all alone when there's plenty of room for two. And my head is sore from all that drink last night. How are you going to make it up to me?' By turning it into a joke Hikaru will know I don't blame him.

Later when we go to bed together I will apologise. I will make up for being grumpy by telling him how much I enjoyed what we did together, and how much I ache for him to do it again. After the lights have been turned off I will tell him, so that my blush will be hidden and I can always pretend I have fallen asleep if things become awkward. It is rare though, that I can't express my feelings to Hikaru. He always understands.

This is new for the both of us and I know I must tread carefully. I don't want this part of our relationship to end, or become a rare occurrence when our inhibitions are lost through alcohol. I want to be able to flirt with Hikaru freely when we are alone together. I want to talk about sex with him, sharing my desires and my requests for a sex life that I am sure, between the two of us, would be adventurous and full of variety. Yes. Yes that is the perfect plan. Teasing Hikaru now and talking to him seriously tonight. Perfect.

Resolved, I flick the hairdryer off and step outside the bedroom. I look at the bed, then check again. Hikaru has gone. Taken aback, I screw my forehead up, puzzled. Has he gone to shower in another bathroom? This seems the only explanation but as I turn to leave the room and search for him, I catch sight of a note on a folded slightly crumpled piece of paper out of the corner of my eye.

I take a few faltering steps towards it and as I do so I notice Hikaru's handwriting and recognise my name. I pick up the note that crouches suspiciously on my pillow and slowly unfold it, feeling my eyes widen as I scan the first couple of lines. As I read the energy drains out of me and I flop down on the bed.

_Kaoru, _

_I'm sorry to leave you on your own and I am even more sorry for what I did last night. I had no idea you didn't want to do it with me and only went along with it because of the alcohol. I will never force myself on you again. But that is the reason I have to leave for a bit. I can't resist you; you are too much like the chocolate ice cream. _Here I pause. What the _hell_ is this idiot talking about? I hurriedly read on. _I never want to make you feel 'sick' or 'dirty'. I didn't mean it. But when I come back everything will be back to normal. I will only need to go away for a few days. Don't worry about me. I will be fine._

_Hikaru_

_P.S. I love you. I think you know what I mean. I'm sorry if that upsets you but I just can't help it. _

I am frozen in shock. I cannot believe that even Hikaru could do something so _stupid_. He has got me completely wrong. I said I felt dirty because I wanted him to shower with me, not because I regretted last night. True I complained a little this morning but I was the one who touched him first yesterday so how can he have got it into his head that I didn't want to do it? Supposedly Hikaru and I have identical minds but I am not so sure. Would I ever do anything so irrational, so impulsive, so idiotic? I don't think so.

My stomach clenches a little. I don't like not knowing where Hikaru is or what he's doing. I can hardly believe he has gone and the knot of worry tightens when I realise that something may have happened that I don't know about. What if he tripped? What if he didn't look when crossing a road? I shake my head to try and empty it but the worry stays, pulsing just below the surface of my conscious thoughts.

It is strange that Hikaru believed I had the opposite opinion to him. To me it was a simple fact that one day this was going to happen. We both started to realise at the age of thirteen that we were gay and we sat down and told each other, relieved when we did so that we were in it together and both felt the same. At the age of fourteen we shared our first kiss. We had had all the rest of our firsts together so we didn't see any reason why we shouldn't. So two horny teenage guys, both attracted to guys, both very close, already holding hands and kissing for comfort and for fun… It doesn't take a genius to work out what is going to happen next. But it obviously takes more brains than my stupid twin possesses.

I sigh deeply. I am a little frustrated, a little worried and also a little sad that Hikaru has abandoned me. It is not a nice feeling, being left on my own as if he doesn't care. I can think rationally about it though. I know Hikaru only left because he thinks it is what I want and I can forgive him easily for going. I just want my twin back.

There is no doubt in my mind about whether or not I will go after Hikaru. I can't leave him wandering around on his own. Already I am desperately lonely myself.

After I have pulled on some black boxers I feel a sudden need to wear Hikaru's clothes. I want his T-shirt with its Hikaru smell against my skin. Without Hikaru near me there is almost a tangible ache in my body and I need a quick fix to keep me going so that I can go out and get him. I always like to wear Hikaru's clothes. Sometimes when he throws off the soft cotton T-shirt he's had on and chucks it on the floor before wriggling into bed I scoop it up and wear it to sleep in, still warm.

Suddenly I realise that the only clothes Hikaru has worn that haven't been washed already were the ones he was wearing yesterday. Quickly I leap up and crash out of the bedroom, pushing the door back so hard that it almost rebounds into my face. I run down the staircase. Not the usual polished maple wood and gold veined marble staircase though. Instead I push my way through a small wooden side door and step down concrete stairs which are reserved for the staff.

I have only seen this part of the house a couple of times before when Hikaru and I were exploring. I place my hand on the grimy plastic stair rail and my hurried footsteps ring in the dull, grey, concrete-dominated stairwell which is a stark contrast to the luxury of the main house.

At the bottom of the steps I notice, as I hurry down them, our old, emaciated, resident butler standing with his shirtsleeves rolled up. He is leaning against the wall and smoking a cigarette but when he sees me he drops it in shock. Trying to both grind it under his foot and bow at the same time he starts to stutter an apology but I have no time for him and rush past without a word.

It is the same in the laundry room when I push open the door. Two maids, one plump, one skinny, are cooing over a magazine which flops limply over the top of one of the washing machines. When they see me one of them grabs her cap, shoving it lopsided onto her loose spiky hair. The other maid tries to surreptitiously slip her shoes back on. I pretend not to notice.

'Have you washed our clothes from yesterday?' I demand with no time for greetings. The maids avoid my gaze and both start to stutter at once. They cannot be much older than I am. I try to calm down a little; my desperation isn't helping anyone.

'You're not in trouble,' I reassure them, 'I just need to know.' I force a Host Club smile.

'I am afraid we haven't quite got round to it yet Hitachiin-sama,' the plumper girl finally tells me with trepidation. 'I can do it right away if-'

'No!' I blurt out quickly, cutting her off. I bite my lip then sigh in relief. 'Where are they?' It is the skinny maid that responds this time, pulling a laundry basket out from behind one of the silent, still machines.

'I just want the T-shirt, the navy T-shirt,' I tell her helpfully. She hands it to me with trepidation as though I am a live bomb that will go off at any minute. My smile is genuine as my hand clutches around it.

'Thank you.'

'Will you be… um… putting it on now?' the other maid asks and I realise with a jolt that I am wearing nothing but my short, tight boxers that, if I am honest, leave little to the imagination.

'Er…' My face heats as I hurriedly pull the top on, pulling it down as far as it will go. Not far enough.

'Get back to work,' I mutter in an attempt to divert attention away from my glowing cheeks. 'Please.' The maids instantly bustle into action as I hurriedly retreat back upstairs again to get dressed properly.

Once I reach the bedroom I pause. The smell of the T-shirt has brought the memories of Hikaru flooding back. I lie on the bed and although I have just pulled on some jeans I flick them back open again. I try to recreate yesterday's events in my head. I push my hand down into my pants experimentally. I am getting harder, it's true when I touch myself, but it's just not the same.

When Hikaru did this to me I was instantly turned on and had to hold back moans of pleasure. I couldn't believe how good I was feeling. But when I touch myself alone like this, dragging the same firm grip up and down my length, I have to make a conscious effort to turn myself on. I wonder briefly if I would feel the same breathlessness and the same sparkle if someone else were to touch me but the thought alone is a turn off. I only ever visualise Hikaru when I am masturbating and I am sure I would visualise him even if I tried to do it with someone else.

Besides, I am proud of the fact that my body is Hikaru's alone. We have been monopolising each other our whole lives and although we have branched out a little, our sex will remain the exception. When your twin is making you a mess of you, three is most certainly a crowd.

Sighing I let go of my feeble length and remove my hand from my jeans. I am finding it hard to get aroused, my thoughts are drifting and I know it will take me ages to come. There is no point if it's a chore and besides, I don't have the time to waste.

Pulling on a few layers and grabbing some essentials I head outside. I will give my mum a call once I am out of the house so that she doesn't worry but can't stop me going. The cold air hits me as I step outside, biting through the layers of fabric straight to my skin and I break into a run. No one can call me back; no one can stop me. I am Hitachiin Kaoru on a rescue mission. The wind whips through my clean hair and I wonder. Am I really going to all this trouble just because Hikaru gave me an amazing hand job and I want another? I grin at the thought, despite my anxiety.

Well… Of course not. I need to explain this misunderstanding, get rid of this horrible loneliness, check he is feeling okay, make sure he is safe _and _tell him I love him. All I need to do is figure out where he would go.

For once I want to get into Hikaru's head… Not into his pants.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed this!**

**Next chapter: Hikaru trys to cope in the strange and mysterious commoner world.**


	4. Chapter 4: Raindrops keep falling

It has been two hours now and I'm bored. Already my excitement at being a commoner for a few days has been replaced with a sinking feeling that maybe this wasn't the most sensible thing to do. Sometimes, just sometimes I feel as though Kaoru is right when he says I am too impulsive and don't think things through.

This town is… common. Under my smartly trainer-clad feet, tiny disks of flattened chewing gum are scattered so that the cracked tarmac slabs look like the water of the scented baths that Kaoru and I sometimes share when they are scattered with rose petals.

I love bathing with Kaoru. I love the way that sometimes, when I am worked up about something, he will massage my back, his deft hands drawing the stress effortlessly out of my body. I massage him too and I watch him bathe out of the corner of my eye. In my mind I can picture his hipbones, glistening wet, disappearing down under the surface of the water. The smell too, a combination of perfume and wet hair, roses and the sweat of a long day.

I can never tear my eyes away from the _darker patch_, shivering under the rippling water, once I have glanced at it. Kaoru's pubic hair, contrasting the glistening cream porcelain around us and the glistening cream of his skin. I always want to run my fingers through it so badly. I want to drag them down lower, squeezing Kaoru gently… watching his face as I do so… feeling him harden under my touch…

I suddenly shake my head violently, startling two girls who are eyeing me as I walk past. How can my thoughts switch like that? From chewing gum to Kaoru naked. My feet hit the tarmac harder and harder as I walk faster, trying to achieve the impossible and step away from my thoughts. Shops with faded signs and peeling paint rush past me. I am still trying to find a hotel, or at least a taxi or bus or tram to take me to one, but it seems as though everything is a lot harder alone. I never realised before how much I depend on Kaoru. Maybe even more than he depends on me.

Just then I feel something tiny tickle the end of my nose. I wrinkle it. There is the same feeling on my neck, then the back of my hand. I glance up and something drops, right into my eye. Oh _great_. It's raining.

As soon as I realise this, the rain gets more obvious as the tiny droplets turn into large fat tears falling from the writhing white-grey mass of sky. I start walking again, hoping to find some shelter before it gets too heavy but I can tell already I am going to be too late as the pavement in front of me is already flecked with dark spots of rain.

With each step I take the rain gets heavier and before I have passed the furniture store that is on my left and the dry-cleaners on my right, the skies seem to open and the rain pour down. Droplets drum on my head and clothes and slap the pavement all around me.

Dejected I hang my head and jam my hands deep into the recesses of my pockets as I walk. It is not long before my shoes are squelching and my hair is dripping down into my eyes. I watch as elongated droplets slide casually, one after the other from the tips of clumps of my hair. Drip, drip, drip. I feel like a forgotten piece of washing, caught on the line in a storm.

Right on cue there comes a rumble of thunder, so loud it makes me jump. It is amazing how quickly the streets have emptied. No more than minutes ago mothers were dragging their reluctant young children around the shops, old couples were tottering down the street hand in hand, business professionals in smart suits and shiny shoes were rushing past me chattering into mobile phones. Now the streets are deserted. It is as though I have walked into a ghost town or a parallel universe.

I am the only living, breathing thing out in the rain for as far as the eye can see. Anyone with sense I suppose has taken refuge in a nearby shop. Searching desperately for shelter, I catch sight of a small church down a side street and I notice as soon as I see it that there is a small porch hanging over the entrance of the squat, old building. There is nowhere else for me to go. Decided I make a sudden dash for shelter and I lean against the engraved wooden door, huffing out breaths and watching them condense as a mist in front of me, so that I look like a dragon breathing smoke. Tentatively I try the door of the church, but it won't budge.

I watch the rain pour down, obscuring my view of the surrounding shops. Maybe I should go inside one. There is a part of me that likes that idea as I have money, but I'm not sure I have the confidence to stroll in, looking like a drowned rat, all alone.

Now that I have time to think and nothing else to do, I wonder how Kaoru is feeling. I abandoned him with no goodbye, only a gabbled explanation in note form. I try to imagine him laughing, screwing up my note and tossing it away thinking, 'Hikaru, that idiot. He'll be back in a couple of days'. But I know, deep in my mind, that Kaoru would never think that. A sudden stab of guilt pierces through me like a knife as I stand here, alone in the rain. I tried to pretend to myself that my leaving was for Kaoru but really it was just selfishness. I felt awkward so I ran away. Pathetic.

I imagine Kaoru flopping down on the bed instead, chewing on a fingernail nervously and worrying where I am, what I'm doing, why I left him. _Idiot. _I curse myself under my breath, feeling trapped in this small semi-dry space, separated from the rest of the world by the rain. Clenching my hands into fists I grit my teeth together and screw up my eyes. My cheeks feel suspiciously wet, a kind of wet hotter than the rain though it's hard to tell. I don't want to feel sorry for myself. I don't want to make my twin unhappy. I don't want to be soaked through to my underwear and so cold I'm shivering. I don't want to be _alone_.

Suddenly I hear a voice near my ear.

'Are you okay?'

For a brief crazy moment before I open my eyes I think it is Kaoru, come to find me but when I glance startled in the direction of the voice I see a boy I don't recognise. He is about my age with short black spiky hair and muscular arms showing below his shirtsleeves, that for some reason are rolled up. Who rolls their sleeves up in a storm? This guy is a little taller than I am and admittedly very good looking. He is giving me a curious lopsided smile.

'I'm fine,' I raise a hand to wipe my eyes but then I realise I don't need to, the rain on my face is the best camouflage I could get to disguise the tears that _might _be there. I stand frozen like a statue with my hand stuck in the air. The boy mimics me.

'Greetings,' he smiles, raising one eyebrow. He is making fun of me and I furrow my brow in annoyance. I think he must have noticed because he quickly drops his arm and gives me a faint bow respectfully.

'Sorry, sorry. You will have to excuse my sense of humour,' he grins sheepishly, 'I'm Kano Misaki.'

'Hitachiin Hikaru,' I reply stiffly.

'Nice name.' This guy nods approvingly. As if I need his approval. 'It's almost as hot as you are… little Hitachiin-san.'

My cheeks flush in anger. Little? He mistakes my red cheeks for a blush.

'Ah there's no need to get embarrassed,' he teases. I clench my fists inside the pockets of my jacket. We are very close together in the small sheltered area under the porch; there is only just enough room for two. This guy moves slightly closer and I feel his arm press against my own. He is very warm, despite his bare skin and it makes me shiver again because it reminds me how cold I am.

'Cold? How come you're out in the rain?'

I don't bother to answer. Instead I simply edge away from this guy who is pissing me off more and more by the second. My bag slips from my shoulder as I move and falls to the ground with a wet squelch. I worry briefly about my phone. I hope it's okay in there as I always feel exposed and on edge without it. I guess a lot of teenagers do.

Both our glances drop down to the bag when it falls and as we look up again our eyes meet. He has _amazing_ eyes; there is no point in denying it. They are so pale they almost seem clear, but in contrast his pupils are large and dark like windows to the secrets inside his head. Is it my imagination or are his eyes sparkling with excitement, holding mine in an irresistible gaze?

'I- I'm only blushing because I'm pissed off with you,' I blurt quickly, wrenching our gazes apart and hurriedly fixing my gaze at the floor. _He has bare feet!_ I realise with shock.

'Of course, of course,' this guy grins, holding his hands up in a gesture of surrender. 'So, you didn't answer my question… Why are you out all alone in the rain? Run away from home?

'No,' I snort automatically, even though, if I'm honest, that's exactly what I've done.

'I like your jacket.' I glance up surprised. I can tell he is changing the subject without question and I am grateful for it. 'Where'd you get it?'

'My mum designed it for me,' I boast with a hint of pride in my voice, 'There's only one other like it.'

'And who has that?'

There is a pause. I bend my head but my hair is wetly plastered to my forehead and doesn't hide my eyes as I am expecting.

'My brother,' I admit sullenly.

'Ah, you have the same jacket as your brother? Cute, huh? Then… is your brother as smoking hot as you?'

He reaches a hand out and strokes a lock of hair off my face and behind my ear.

'The- The hell?'

I have the sudden urge to kiss the lips that are so close to mine, I would only have to lean forward. Kano isn't acting as though he would mind. I am glad he can't read these thoughts though, I feel safe in my own head.

Though I also feel unexpectedly guilty. Would Kaoru mind? No, no, he doesn't feel the same way as I do but even so. I am thinking about Kaoru even though, this guy… Kano… is leaning towards me. I try to back away but my back is already jammed against the wall. He moves closer but just before our lips meet my eyes widen in shock and I jerk my head away as quickly as if I have been slapped on the cheek. Am I really so obsessed with Kaoru that I can't even _think _about kissing someone else? I am going to have a very lonely life if that is true… But I just can't do it.

'What? What is it?' Kano asks, with the disgruntled look of a child who has just had his favourite type of candy dangled under his nose, only to be snatched away.

'Nothing.'

Kano doesn't enquire further but he tilts his head looking genuinely interested. I am suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to tell someone, _anyone_, about the turmoil writhing in my mind and I open my mouth, wordlessly mouthing for a moment before I can shape words.

'I… I think… Well actually I sort of know… I like someone.'

'Like?'

'... and more.'

'Love?'

I pause. I nod. Kano sighs and moves the temptation of his lips away from me as he straightens up but I am pleased to finally get that off my chest. Sometimes it is easier to confide in strangers.

'Is that why you're running away?'

'I'm not ru-… Yes,' I admit.

Kano leans back against the door too.

'You know,' he tells me, crossing his arms, 'sometimes it's better just to admit how you feel. You should just tell him. You will feel better if you do, no matter what happens. It's better than running away.

I frown slightly. I can't help thinking he might be right. Wait a minute…

'How do you know it's a 'him'?'

'Ah,' he winks at me, which makes me frown again. My heart isn't beating as fast as it does with Kaoru but I still feel a twinge and I cannot drop his gaze. 'I can just tell,' he grins and taps his nose. 'But seriously. You have to live the way you _want_ to live. Ignore what people tell you about what you _should _want.'

I nod. It's good advice but not as easy as he makes it sound.

'Oh and Hitachiin-san.'

'Mmm?'

'I really am sorry.'

What fo- … Hey, HEY!'

Before I can stop him, before I have even realised what he is doing, Kano has scooped my bag up from the ground and started sprinting down the road.

'Wait!' I shout immediately, leaping after him. I try to catch up with him, my feet pounding the concrete, my breath coming in gasps but with every step I take he gets further away from me. Kano is a faster runner it seems and he has a head start. He turns a corner and by the time I reach it he has disappeared. I know he is gone for good.

I lean over, panting hard, fisting my hair in my hands.

He seemed so nice, is all I can think. I was even attracted to him, just a little, but all the time he was just after my money. Now I _really _know what it is like to have nothing and I don't understand why I ever thought this was fun. I suppose 'I'm an idiot' is the simplest explanation.

As I stand back up I feel warmth on the back of my neck and notice for the first time that the rain has stopped and a diluted sun is ironically shining from a gap between the clouds, even though I feel anything but sunny.

I have no idea where I am now and I am dirty even though I am soaked to the skin; I am very conscious of the fact that I didn't get the chance to shower this morning. And on top of it all I feel _stupid_. How could I be so gullible? Am I really so useless on my own that I can't look after myself, even for half a day? This isn't some game I am playing. This isn't like the times Kaoru and I would pretend we were poor and dress ourselves in nothing but sheets and beg the maids for scraps with open, empty palms. This is real.

The worst part is that I feel used. I liked Kano for the brief time I knew him and I thought I could confide in him. Honestly I let his flattery fool me. I liked the idea that someone could find me 'hot' even if it wasn't the person I really wanted. Settling for second best is my only option after all and his advice seemed so down to earth that I trusted him. I even told him I loved… I loved…

_Kaoru_. I have never needed him like I do now. I just want him to hold me and tell me how stupid I am but that he forgives me. Everything would be okay if Kaoru was here but in a panic I left him alone and made us both suffer for it. I am pathetic. I _deserve_ to be taken advantage of by guys like Kano.

Hurriedly I clamp a hand over my mouth, supporting myself with my other hand against a high brick wall.

This time it is obvious that the wet heat, staining lines down my cheeks, has nothing to do with the rain.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed this! **

**Next chapter: Kaoru searches for Hikaru but finds more than he bargained for...**


	5. Chapter 5:The guy and the store

The rain drips down. Water droplets chase each other down the car windowpane, forming diagonal rivers as the limo splashes through the puddles at the side of the road. It's pretty simple to guess the direction that Hikaru has travelled in, as we both know about the commoner shops just a few blocks away from our mansion. Now though I am driving aimlessly around the streets looking for a glimpse of red hair or perhaps Hikaru's defensive slouching walk that he adopts whenever he feels insecure.

Feeling bored and as though coming after Hikaru was a little too reckless and spontaneous, I watch a pair of identical water droplets racing each other down the window. One is dragging behind and on impulse I urge it on inside my head. _Come on, come on_. The second droplet is gaining on the first, getting closer and closer behind it when suddenly the two merge just before reaching the edge of the windowpane and spreading out flat, disappearing. I blink in surprise as this happens but quickly lose interest and glance past the glass again to the street outside.

Suddenly my heart thumps once out of place as I notice a boy rounding a corner up ahead who catches my eye. It's not Hikaru, that much is certain, but there is something about him…

'Follow that boy,' I order on a whim and I notice the driver salute in the mirror.

'Yes sir!' he answers smartly and there is noticeable excitement in his eyes. I had grabbed the first driver available in my hurry to leave the house and I have never seen this man before so he must be new to the job. He has short, brown hair, messy despite being shoved under a cap and a large childlike grin. He doesn't look much older than nineteen or twenty and he seems enthusiastic about the prospect of a pursuit. I suspect he is probably enjoying the pretence of being a police officer or a spy.

Before catching sight of this mysterious stranger I had been lazily reclining back in my seat, propping my head up with one elbow. Now though I lean forward, pressing both palms against the glass eagerly. We draw close to the boy and I survey him with interest. He had been running round the corner but as I watch he slows to a casual walk, hooking the messenger bag he is carrying over his head so the strap crosses his body. The bag bounces against his bottom a little. When I realise I am shamelessly staring at another guy's ass, I look away quickly, feeling slightly hot as well as a little embarrassed. I am glad no one can see me in case I have turned red.

This guy is wearing his bag the same way as Hikaru does and even walks a little like him but I don't think this is what has caught my eye. The limo slides slowly along the glistening wet tarmac, using the congested traffic as an excuse to keep pace with the boy on the pavement.

What was it that was so strange about this stranger? It was to do with the bag, the bag bouncing on that cute, curvy ass…

'Concentrate on the bag,' I mutter to myself under my breath, then my eyes widen in surprise as I realise. Hikaru's bag!

'Stop the car,' I tell the driver at once, safe in the knowledge that this guy would not have seen me so far. I am completely hidden behind the dark glass in my limo and even if someone were to look straight at me all they would see is their own face reflected back at them in the glass.

'I'm getting out,' I announce, preparing to leave the safety of my limo and confront this teenager face to face.

'Don't get out to open the door for me,' I continue. I want to draw as little unnecessary attention to myself as possible, even though I know it's ironic; the whole point of limos is to draw unnecessary attention to the people inside. The driver obediently pulls up to the pavement behind the target and I slip inconspicuously out. I turn around before closing the door.

'I'll call you when I need you again,' I tell the man behind the wheel. There is something I instantly like about this new driver. 'And…' I pause. 'Thank you.' The last glimpse I have of the driver is his face breaking into a grateful smile.

Luckily is seems as if the boy I am trying to follow hasn't noticed me, he looks like he is absorbed in his thoughts as he continues walking down the road. One hand swings as he walks, the other rests possessively on _Hikaru's_ bag and I can't help screwing my nose up in annoyance.

At once I make a split second decision and treading lightly like a person trying to stop themselves sinking into snow I get closer to the stranger, then suddenly leap forward and run the final distance between us. I swing the guy round, grabbing the front of his T-shirt with both hands and slam him up against the tall wooden fence of the house he is walking past. I try to look angry despite the fact my hands are shaking at my own audacity.

'H-Hikaru,' the guy stutters out instantly, his eyes wide looking fearful. 'How did you…?'

'Never mind about that,' I interrupt, 'What's your name?' I have obviously been mistaken for Hikaru. To be honest I am used to it by now. I guess Hikaru was wearing the jacket identical to mine and with similar jeans on and his hair mussed up in the rain it would be very difficult to tell us apart. I had been feeling especially sorry for Hikaru when the rain was pouring down outside the car and I was warm and cosy in the central heated plush interior, knowing that Hikaru was stuck outside. I decide to keep up the pretence of being Hikaru; it could have its advantages.

'It's Kano Misaki.' The reply is instantaneous and I feel a shiver run through Kano. I wonder if he is afraid or just cold. When I look him up and down, my contempt written all over my face I realise with a jolt of surprise that Kano is wearing neither jacket nor shoes and his shirtsleeves are rolled up, even in this weather.

'But I told you that already,' Kano is saying. I let out a mocking laugh, thinking quickly on my feet.

'Not very quick on the uptake are you,' I sneer, 'now I've confirmed your name the police will have no problem finding out all about you.'

I feel Kano tremble again as he hears this and I even begin to feel a little sorry for him. I eye his coal black hair and pale eyes and realise this guy is surprisingly attractive… for a delinquent and a thief. Nonetheless I tighten my grip on Kano's shirt.

'I think you have something of mine,' I scowl and I let go of Kano as he fumbles quickly with the bag, lifting it off and handing it back grudgingly.

'I'm sorry…' he starts to say but I don't let him get any further.

'Look,' I say, still a little annoyed but now that I have Hikaru's bag on my back my anger is quickly subsiding, 'I don't want your excuses. Swear to me that you won't do this again and I won't tell the police. Why don't you get a job or something, surely it's preferable to ruining your life by stealing? I won't hold it against you though, I can see you are too poor to afford shoes.'

Feeling proud of this little speech, I am surprised to see Kano press a hand against his mouth to stifle his giggling.

'What?' I snap.

'Sorry, sorry.' Kano gives me a curious lopsided smile. 'I wasn't laughing at you, I was laughing at… something else. Don't worry yourself about it.'

'Hmm.' I am not convinced.

'Look, I know, I know, you're right. Having met you I can see that rich guys aren't all arrogant bastards after all. So I will turn over a new leaf. You've converted me to the other side…'

As Kano speaks he wraps his arms around me, pulling me into a hug and whispering the last part into my ear. I can feel his wet shirt and hard muscular chest pressing against my own and I am surprised to feel the strong heat of both Kano's arms and body.

Silently Kano begins to run his hands down my back, then he speaks again. I wonder vaguely why I haven't pushed him away yet but there is something enticing about his voice, his touch, that pulls me irresistibly in like a tide in the sea. I feel tingles down my back fizzle like the bubbles in champagne and travel all the way to my fingertips, which are clenching his arms.

'You're probably wondering why you're letting me do this Hikaru-san,' I hear Kano murmur into my hair, 'but even though you love someone else you are attracted to me too. I can _feel _it.'

The shock that Hikaru told Kano he loved someone jolts me back to my senses and I push away suddenly, face blazing in horror. I'm _hard_ and Kano felt it.

'Don't worry,' Kano's smile is partially teasing but mostly kind and he doesn't make any other comments about the conspicuous lump in my trousers that I am trying to hide by turning away, 'I have a surprise for you Hikaru-san. Call it a gift… Or an apology. Come on.'

I remember my best chance of finding Hikaru lies with this guy and when I feel Kano's hand pressing against my lower back I begin to walk with him.

'Where are we going?' I ask him with a little trepidation but Kano simply winks.

'You'll see,' he replies and we set off, feet tramping in unison along the pavement.

As we walk I can't help wondering what he and Hikaru talked about. I am not quite sure why I am deliberately keeping my identity a secret when it is just making it harder for me to find out about Hikaru. I had thought at first that Kano might not reveal Hikaru's secrets to me but now I can tell that this guy has a pretty loose tongue and isn't too bright, despite being a huge flirt.

Though if I am honest with myself I do suspect why I am clinging to my similarity to my twin, the part of Hikaru that is in myself. It is a way of staying close to him when we're apart.

I will continue to pretend.

'So tell me more about this guy you're in love with.' Kano breaks the silence and I can't stop myself giving a hopeful sigh. If I am the one Hikaru has been saying he loves… Well I am sure I must be, especially if last night was any indication. Besides the blunt 'P.S. I love you' at the end of his note proves it.

'Well,' I begin, 'How do I describe him? I guess I will start by saying I have known him my whole life and he has always been the person I have been closest to. Of course I love my parents but he was always the one I went to with problems. How can I explain how close we are?

'Okay, I will tell you a story. We found out about sex stuff early – that's what you get if you're curious and you have unmonitored Internet connection and a habit of listening at doors when you're bored.'

Here Kano and I exchange a glance and he grins at me but doesn't interrupt.

'So when I got my first erection,' I continue, surprising myself by not feeling a hint of embarrassment, 'I knew exactly what was going on. The thing was, he noticed and when I showed him properly he got all flustered. He'd never had one you see and he turned away and tired to cross his legs and absorb himself in a video game. I knew instantly that seeing my arousal had affected him and maybe even given him a hard on himself. From that moment I knew it was inevitable we would become more than friends one day. He's like that though, easily flustered, bad at hiding emotions - and arousal - gorgeous hair and skin, very passionate and impulsive, jealous but protective and I love him so much…'

I trail off when I realise we have stopped walking. Kano is looking at me, assessing me, head cocked.

'You know,' he tells me, 'the person you just described sounds exactly like the way you were acting earlier, impulsive, easily flustered, bad at hiding emotion… and gorgeous of course.' Here he winks. 'But… You seem different now, calmer. Though you also seem, I hope you don't mind me saying, a little anxious underneath it too.'

I stare at Kano wordlessly. I have been completely wrong about him. He is obviously very perceptive and not thick in the slightest.

Awkwardly trying to think of an excuse for the difference I glance at the shop we have stopped at and I am immediately puzzled.

'Why are all the windows blacked out?' I ask in surprise. I know this isn't normal for commoner shops as I saw them out of the limo right before I spotted Kano.

To my surprise Kano lets out a delighted, slightly evil laugh.

'Come inside,' is all he says in response and he opens the door, guiding me in before him. The room is lit softly with spotlights that gave off a pink tinged light.

And lining the walls are rows and rows of objects that I had only seen before in films. Porn films. I gasp. This is an Aladdin's Cave of sex. A pirate's treasure hoard of erotica.

'This is a sex shop isn't it?'

'Yup,' Kano replied happily, 'and with the right money they don't even ask for ID. Enjoy.'

Amazed I begin to look around. To my left under the heading 'Films' are thousands and thousands of DVDs, all lined up like books at a bookshop. I note a few titles: 'Alice in Bonerland', 'Anal Fantasy VII', '69'.

To my right is the 'Bondage'. I have never seen so much black leather and so many metal chains in my life. They have the obvious: whips, handcuffs, blindfolds, straps for thighs and wrists, leg manacles and even wall brackets for attaching the varying lengths of chains that all hang in their rows. But it doesn't stop there. I pick up some leather underwear and when I inspect it I find there is a hole with an in-built metal cock ring.

At once, without warning an unbidden image flashed across my mind. I imagine myself tied to the bed wearing the underwear. I can easily visualise it. Hikaru's hot breath blowing down my erection deliberately, watching it stiffen with greedy eyes… licking all the way along it, around the head, flicking drops of precum off my slit with the tip of his tongue, hungrily, to taste.

I can imagine us watching the porn too, gradually getting more and more aroused at the film until finally snapping and acting out what is happening on screen with our own bodies. That is, until we forget all about the film entirely and writhe and pant intertwined on the floor, sweat and cum dripping onto the carpet.

When I feel Kano's hand on my arm I jump because I am so wrapped up in my own fantasies. I allow myself to be led past the novelty section with its cock shaped ice cube trays, erotic versions of family games, mugs with scenes from the karma sutra and chocolates shaped like breasts. I finger a lacy bodice as I wander past the 'Lingerie' section, admiring the dark blue fabric that flows and ripples through my fingers like water. I like the black criss-crossing ribbon and lacy trim and I know it would excite Hikaru but I step past it.

Framed by nurse, maid and other fetish outfits is the simply named 'Gay' section.

Resigned, I step inside and my first thought: I have never seen so many vibrators in my life. Soon though I find myself drawn in and after a long selection process I make a choice of items I feel I just _have _to buy.

As I am rounding the corner towards the cash desk, I almost bump into a man hurrying in the opposite direction.

'Sorry,' I mutter automatically, bowing. When I look up though I find myself face to face with my limo driver. 'You!' I feel the heat rush to my face and I am horribly conscious of the items in my hands.

'Umm… Err…' I stutter.

'Let's pretend we haven't seen each other,' the driver mutters quickly and we stand awkwardly next to each other at the till, neither speaking, both trying to resist glancing at what the other is buying. From what I can see out of the corner of my eye, the man who drives me around has a significant interest in lesbian porn tapes.

Breathing a sigh of relief as the items I have chosen and paid for with the money in Hikaru's bag are stowed in innocently, anonymous brown paper bags with white string handles, I glance around for Kano. I find him standing nearby with his lopsided smile on his face.

'Can you take me back to the place you met H-… me,' I ask as I walk out of the shop with both the driver and Kano trailing behind me, remembering just in time who I am supposed to be.

'Sure,' Kano smiles and I watch as his mouth drops when he catches sight of my limo that is waiting outside the shop.

'You really _are_ rich,' he exclaims as he eagerly scrambles in. There is a tense silence in the car between the driver and I as we drive, with Kano breaking it occasionally to give the driver directions.

Finally he asks, 'Are you meeting someone here?'

'Hopefully,' is the only reply I give him.

When we drew up outside the small church though and Kano announces, 'Here we are' there is no one around at all.

I feel suddenly overwhelmingly tired. I can think of nothing to do but go back home and wait for Hikaru there. I am useless.

'Well… I'll see you around then.' Kano opens the car door and I have a strange urge to stop him. I don't want him to disappear forever and be just a memory.

'Don't worry,' Kano continues as if he can read my thoughts, 'I have a feeling we will meet again.' Shutting the door softly he gives a wave and winks before running down the road and disappearing around the corner.

Alone in the car, I sigh.

'Take me home,' I order in resignation.

If life were a game, I muse, I would be no good at playing it without a partner on my team.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed this!**

**Sorry this took so long, anyone reading this has probably forgotten all about it by now. I had exams and school work (my excuse) but to make up for it I will now publish two chapters of the fic in one go, plus another smutty twin story if anyone's interested.**

**I got my results yesterday and got into my first choice uni, by the way... Yay! So the work did pay off.**

**Next chapter: Hikaru finds a way to entertain himself when his craving for Kaoru becomes too much to bear.**


	6. Chapter 6: Tainted Love

Sighing, I place the telephone back on its stand and survey the luxury around me gloomily. I have to admit I was expecting Kaoru to answer his phone, especially as it was me who dialled the number.

Yes I admit it. I couldn't take it any longer. I called my brother. As soon as I heard the ringing far away connecting me to Kaoru's world I realised my weakness and I was immediately disappointed with my ability to resist temptation. When I tried to hang up though I found I couldn't. It was just like the times I try to think of something _other_ than Kaoru when fumbling with the zip of my jeans, pulling out my stiff rock hard erection and pumping it hard and fast. It's shameless but I just wanted to hear his voice so badly.

It's true that I feel comfortable here, if not happy. Luckily I had had the presence of mind to slip one of my credit cards into the back pocket of my jeans, though I forgot about it at first. A quick fumble in my pockets meant I had money at least. Even though I would prefer human company to this rectangle of plastic with my name and a few impersonal details printed on it this didn't stop me kissing it enthusiastically a few times once I discovered it. There is still a faint red line intersecting my palm because I clutched the card so tightly in it all the way to the hotel, in case some other cruel untrustworthy commoner tried to steal it.

So that's where I am now. A hotel. Not the kind I would usually stay in, this place doesn't even have its own shopping centre or a helicopter pad, only a restaurant, tennis courts and a swimming pool with a Jacuzzi or something. But it will do for a few nights… until I stop lusting after Kaoru so much. I just hope there is no truth in the saying, 'Absence makes the heart grow stronger'.

Startled, I feel someone tug at my sleeve. I glance down to see the young commoner boy who led me here staring up at me. When I first arrived at the hotel my initial thought was to call Kaoru, using this boy's spare change and the pay phone. I haven't even seen my room yet though for some reason, when the woman behind the front desk saw the name on my card she insisted on giving me the 'Business Suite'. Now I remember promising to give a reward to this young boy who I cornered in the street in my desperation.

'You said you had something to give me, sir?' the boy reminds me hopefully.

I shouldn't enjoy being called 'sir', I know I shouldn't. But I've missed it.

'Here.' I take the watch off my wrist and give it to him. It's nothing too special, just a cheap gold watch, only worth about 70 000 Yen*. Any jewellers would sell them, even commoner ones. When the boy's hand clasps around the watch though, his eyes widen and he backs away from me quickly, as though fearful I will change my mind. I don't see why I would. If it was something Kaoru bought for me maybe, but I bought this one for myself.

'T-Thanks sir,' he stammers quickly, before darting past a porter coming through the front doors and disappearing, the watch safe in his clenched hand.

Shaking my head in bemusement at his strange behaviour, I begin to walk up the steps to my room. As I do so I hear a slight scuffle behind me and, glancing back, I see one porter walking away in dismay while another man is clutching a wicker hamper and adjusting his cap with a big beam on his face. If I didn't know any better I would say they were fighting over which one of them carried the basket up to me.

'After you, sir.' The porter bows politely and I continue up the marble staircase, aware of the man trailing behind me.

When we reach the room I feel a little self-conscious and it takes me a few fumbling attempts to get the key in the lock. Finally I push the door open and see the room. It is… acceptable. A living area with a bar and two other rooms leading off, a bathroom and a bedroom. I wonder if I will be able to survive in such a confined space. The rooms are tiny compared to what I am used to and although the Persian rug beneath my feet appears genuine enough, I am _sure_ the hangings on the four poster bed are not pure silk.

'May I lay out your welcome pack, sir?' the porter asks, breaking into my thoughts.

I give a grunt and an uninterested wave of my hand, gesturing for him to go ahead. Sinking into a chair I almost leap straight back out of it as a spring squeaks under my weight. Honestly, don't they care about standards at this hotel? My whole body is tensed with annoyance as the porter carries on laying out the contents of the hamper on the coffee table in front of me, oblivious to my disgust.

No, no. I calm myself down, remembering that this is a commoner establishment after all and creaky springs are probably to be expected. Shuddering slightly, I am glad that in my home a creaky chair would be removed before you could say 'unacceptable'.

'So here it is,' the porter is saying and I wriggle in my chair in a vain attempt to get comfortable and listen to what he is saying.

'You have your complimentary toothbrush, razor, deodorant, soap, shower gel, hair products and champagne which we will of course put on ice for you. There is also food in your fridge over there and towels etc. in your bathroom. Is everything to your liking?'

There is a pause. These items would probably be considered designer by most but they are still mass-produced and not especially made like the products I have at home. I would normally be excited about living this style of life that seems so new and strange to me but I cannot seem to work up enthusiasm about anything at the moment.

'Sir?' the porter repeats, a note of worry in his voice because I haven't responded.

'Thanks,' I mutter with no interest, 'you may go now. I don't have any money at the moment but remind me to tip you later.'

'Oh thank you. Thank you sir!' he smiles, his face lighting up again. He bows deeply then walks smartly across the room, closing the door behind him.

Once again I am alone. I cross the room to the fridge and pull out a bag of imported western snacks. They are some kind of fried potatoes, sliced thinly and the packet says, if my English is correct, 'prawn cocktail flavour'. Furrowing my brow in disbelief, I smooth out the packaging and survey it from different angles. Prawn cocktail and potatoes? That can't be right but I cannot make it say anything else. I really should pay more attention in my English classes.

Shrugging, I lift a piece of potato into my mouth and chew suspiciously. As the flavour hits me I nearly spit it out on the expensive carpet; it is tangy and sharp but also very sweet, a completely surprising taste. One thing is for certain: it doesn't taste like prawns.

The longer I chew though, the better this snack tastes and by the time I have finished it I am already rummaging absentmindedly in the bag for another as I explore the suite. The living room is comfortable enough I suppose, the bathroom is white and gleams. Thankfully it is spotlessly clean. I end up in the bedroom and having finished the bag and I bin it and flop down on the bed, licking my fingers clean.

The bed, luckily, does not creak or squeak or groan but keeps quiet as a good bed should. The only sounds that should be heard from a bed are the groans of the people on top of it I think to myself. Before I can stop myself I am thinking of the noises Kaoru sometimes makes in our bed: breathy sighs, regular rhythmical breathing that becomes my own personal unique lullaby, sometimes he even moans…

Oops. I probably shouldn't have started thinking about that. I have erotic dreams myself of course but when I first heard Kaoru moaning in his sleep I didn't realise what was happening until he rolled towards me, draping one arm over my chest and wrapping both of his legs around one of mine. I can remember how fast my heart was beating as he shuffled against me slightly, the smooth rubbing of soft skin against soft skin interrupted by something incredibly hard moving against my hip. I knew what it was. I knew what the warm stickiness against my skin was too and sure enough in the morning there was a dried white smear across my hipbone.

Suddenly I realise I am rubbing myself outside my jeans, becoming stiff at the memory. The outline of my erection is obvious and all at once I just want to come so badly that I don't care about stupid resolutions anymore. One last time, I tell myself. I will come to the thought of Kaoru one last time.

Decided, I pull my jeans open and have my hand inside my underwear before I even have time to push them down, rubbing frantically. As soon as my hand makes contact with my erection I clench my eyes shut and instinctively arch my back and throw my head into the pillows. Heat is pooling in-between my thighs. I push my jeans and boxers quickly down with my free hand and pull my now dripping length out, tensing up as I now have freedom to really move my hand, pumping it up and down faster and faster.

I let myself remember exactly how Kaoru's hardness felt against me, remember the moans from the back of his throat that made me want to stroke myself right then and there, even thought it would have woken him.

Letting my aroused mind fantasise, I imagine taking a finger and pushing it inside Kaoru's asshole, feeling around, rubbing to find his prostate gland so that more precum leaks against my body. I imagine pushing two fingers inside Kaoru, feeling his warmth, feeling his muscles squeezing my fingers. I imagine him waking. When he realises what I am doing he will moan for me to thrust and shove inside him and I imagine obeying, squeezing his cock as I shoot myself deep into him in ecstatic bursts.

My fingers were cold as I first started to touch myself but as they warm up so does my body. Each time I pull the skin up and down my length with my hand it feels better and better. My ass starts to clench as I move my hand more desperately and I can feel the tension building, my limbs trembling, my mouth finally opening and giving a shout.

'Unnnng!' I groan out, my eyes tight shut, visualising Kaoru underneath me, between my thighs, as thick white jets spurt from my erection, over my hand and my jeans. I moan again softly as my orgasm fades and I lie panting, only now conscious of the aching arm I used to stroke myself so desperately and my hammering heart.

Once the excitement from my orgasm fades I realise the mess I have made and I quickly grab a tissue from a box on the side table, wiping up. My attempt to throw the tissue into the bin fails. For a moment I think it's going in but it rebounds off the edge and onto the floor.

I snort in annoyance, kick off my trainers and pull off my jeans, wriggling down under the covers of the double bed. It is cosy even though the sheets are not as soft as the ones I am used to and I close my eyes, remembering the answerphone message I left Kaoru when I rung him. I told him not to worry, that I was somewhere safe and that I loved him.

Remembering makes me twist uncomfortably in the bed. _That _is the real reason I am hiding in a hotel. I realise now that what I just did is proof that I can't stop my body from becoming aroused when I think of Kaoru, proof that no matter how long I stay away I can never love him purely platonically. The reason I am hiding is simple. I am putting off for as long as possible hearing his kind words that he's 'sorry' but he doesn't love me 'in that way'. I don't care about anyone's opinion of me and what I like and what I do… except, of course Kaoru's.

At some point, I can't pinpoint when, my troubled thoughts turn into a dream. At first it is just like my fantasy. Kaoru is writhing and moaning between my thighs as I thrust inside him and pump his erection, delighting in the sticky substance dripping on my fingers. I bring my hand out from under him to look at Kaoru's cum on my fingers but something clenches in my chest as I see that my palm is instead smeared with a deep intense red. Kaoru's garbled moans then become clear…

'Please stop,' he is begging, 'No more. I hate it.' I gasp, pulling out of him immediately. 'Why are you doing this?' he asks me rolling over onto his back, his large, scared eyes wounding me even more than his words. Horrified I scramble away from him, crawling backwards off the bed. He is lying sprawled out on the covers, chest heaving, hair tousled. But instead of the precum that I assumed was dripping from his penis it is smeared with red. His pubic hair too is matted in dark clumps and there are crimson flecks on the covers. As I watch another dark red bead bubbles up from the head of his length and drips down it.

It is not precum. It is blood.

I fist my hands in my hair, gasping for breath. 'I'm sorry,' I hear myself repeating. It's all I can say over and over again. 'I'm so so sorry'…

The next thing I know I am wide-awake and I am in a strange bed. For a moment I don't know where I am and the unfamiliar curtains unnerve me until I realise the orange light illuminating them is from the commoner street lamp outside and I am in the cheap, commoner hotel.

My pulse is racing fast and I realise with surprise that I am crying. The dream seemed so real and now relief floods through my body… but so does self pity. I let myself cry, the raw vulnerable state I am in, having just woken, means I feel everything more deeply. It feels good to let my emotions out, it feels good to cry with no embarrassment, even though the hot salty tears are making the skin around my eyes prickle. There is no way my dream could ever happen, I am glad to realise when waking logic kicks in, but for a moment I believed it.

Suddenly I jump violently as a loud banging on the door startles me. This is not the first time I have heard it and I realise this is what woke me from the disturbing dream. Normally being woken in the middle of the night would piss me off but just this once I am grateful.

Sleepily I stumble out of bed and cross the living room to open the door.

'What is it…?' I begin to ask as I pear through the crack in the door but the words die on my lips. My mouth hangs open.

'Am I dreaming again?' I ask, my voice small, once I have recovered enough to speak.

Standing, hand raised to pound on the door again, looking more gorgeous than ever with his hair untidy and his eyes a little bleary… is Kaoru.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed this!**

***70000 Yen is the equivalent of about $750 or ****£450 if you live in England like me.  
**

**Next Chapter: Hikaru and Kaoru resolve their misunderstanding in the _physical _way that can only be expected from two horny twins.**


	7. Chapter 7: Making up

As soon as I see him I can't stop my face from splitting into a wide smile. I have done it. I have found him. To be honest it wasn't that hard, I only had to visit thirty hotels. That's a small amount of effort to get my twin back.

When I realised I had missed Hikaru's call I couldn't believe it. For hours I had been sitting listlessly on the sofa of our living room, twirling my phone around in my hand, totally bored but unable to think of anything to occupy myself that didn't involve Hikaru. Ironically the moment I got up to use the bathroom was the time Hikaru rang and I had left my phone on vibrate so I didn't hear it at all. By the time I slouched back to my seat, contemplating turning on the T.V. and flipping through the channels to pass the time, Hikaru had already left the message.

The garbled, pointless message that I now know off by heart.

'Hi it's me. I mean it's Hikaru. Well, you probably knew that already but, umm… I just wanted to hear your voice really. To see that you're okay. But you didn't answer the phone so you must be busy. I guess. Er… I'm okay too, don't worry about me. I'm safe and staying somewhere… okay. I hope you don't miss- uh well, what I mean is I will be back soon. So don't worry about me. I love you. I love you Kaoru.'

In truth the call had been a massive relief. Before it came I hadn't allowed myself to think about what could have happened to Hikaru. I knew from meeting Kano he didn't have any money and he has even less common sense. Now I could relax a little. It wasn't what Hikaru said that led me to him though. It was a voice in the background calling out, 'No smoking in the hotel lobby sir, please go outside.'

Which meant Hikaru was at a hotel. So having asked at the reception desks of thirty nearby hotels, here I finally am.

Vaguely I hear Hikaru mutter something about me being a dream but I barely hear him. Just seeing his crumpled clothes and shocked face reminds me how much I love him and makes me realise just how much I missed him. Before I even know what I am doing my arms and legs move and I push the door aside so firmly that it thumps into the wall and rebounds slightly. Hikaru takes a surprised step back but before he can make any other moves I have grabbed him, pulling him into a hug. My arms wind themselves around his neck and I push one hand up, fisting the tousled hair at the nape of his neck.

'God I've missed you,' I sigh against his neck.

'K-Kaoru?' Hikaru places his hands uncertainly at my waist, 'What are you doing here?'

'Idiot,' I murmur, my voice muffled as I still have my face pressed against his skin, 'How could you think I wouldn't look for you? You honestly thought I would just sit around waiting for you to come back?'

'But… how did you find me?'

I explain about the answerphone message and the voice in the background.

'And it was even easier to find your room, 'I continue, 'As soon as they saw me walking across the lobby they thought I was you! So I pretended I had forgotten the number of the room I was staying in and they told me straight away.'

I take a step back as I talk so that I can look Hikaru in the eyes. Neither my arms around his neck, nor his possessive hold on my waist loosens. Hikaru has not quite finished questioning me yet and he stutters a little when he says,

'W-Why did you want to find me though when I made you feel s-sick and d-dirty? When I forced you to- to-'

'You didn't!' I shout suddenly, louder than I intended and I half-heartedly thump Hikaru on the chest, 'I felt sick because I drank too much. I wasn't _forced_ Hikaru. Did you forget that I touched you before you touched me?' From Hikaru's blank expression I can see that he had. 'And of course I felt dirty; I was covered in last night's dried sweat and _cum_! Plus… I wanted you to shower with me. I shouldn't have been grumpy and blamed you for my hangover. I'm sorry. But that's all I blamed you for, I enjoyed the rest. I loved it. I love _you_!'

The bemused expression on Hikaru's face as my words sink in is too adorable to resist. Spontaneously I grab the front of his creased T-shirt with both hands and yank him into a kiss. After a brief hesitation I feel Hikaru's arms wrap around me, holding me close as he kisses me back.

Although this isn't my first kiss with Hikaru my heartbeat is audible in my chest as if it was. My eyes are already closed and my entire thoughts are concentrated on Hikaru's soft lips caressing mine, slipping back and forth, skin against skin. Hikaru's upper lip is on top as he takes my top lip between his own. When he lets it slip free I feel him exhale in bliss and it gives me goosebumps all along my arms. I'm not sure when it happens exactly but I am all of a sudden aware that we are open mouth kissing. I feel his warm breath briefly before his slippery hot tongue twists erotically against mine. First I withdraw my tongue in surprise but push it back immediately and give a moan, a soft, short noise from the back of my throat, when he does it again

After a while the kiss breaks apart naturally and Hikaru bites my lower lip gently before turning his head away from me.

'Sorry for making you worry,' he mutters, prodding at my arm and not meeting his eyes because of his awkwardness.

'I forgive you,' I smile immediately, 'but let me put this simply so even _you_ can understand. I need you. I want you.' I lean forward and whisper in his ear, 'I want you _inside_ me.'

When I lean back I see first shock, then understanding flit across Hikaru's face. It seems as though he is regaining his usual confidence when he slips his hands under my top, placing them on the bare skin at the base of my back. Blissfully my eyes slip closed as he moves his lips centimetres from mine. When there is no lip contact I open them again. Puzzled I watch Hikaru pull away and turn his back on me.

'I feel dirty,' he complains and glancing once over his shoulder walks off in the direction of the bathroom.

Briefly I feel how Hikaru felt when I turned my back on him. I understand. Rejection and insecurity glimmer briefly even in _my_ mind. On the other hand common sense tells me he is just teasing me, he wants to shower with me in the same way I want to shower with him.

Well it's perfectly natural that we should like the same things when you think about it. We are twins after all.

Still I feel bad for causing Hikaru to feel so guilty on my account and making him think he had done something wrong. Waiting until Hikaru slips into the bathroom before following him, I grin to myself. I know _exactly_ how to make it up to him.

As soon as I step into the room Hikaru, who has been gazing at his own reflection turns quickly to face me. Grinning, because I am almost positive he was smoothing down his hair and rubbing sleep from his eyes to look better in front of me, I close the gap between us.

'Why are you wearing _clothes_ Hikaru?' I whine, 'Usually you sleep naked. I was looking forward to seeing your…' I trail off.

If I had been hoping to shock Hikaru I would be disappointed but I couldn't possibly be disappointed by his reaction. Catching my eyes with a smouldering gaze he raised his eyebrows slightly.

'You are wearing more than me you know.' He shrugs. 'Easily solved.'

Not giving me a chance to respond Hikaru pushes my T-shirt (well actually his T-shirt I 'borrowed') up out of the way and briskly unbuttons my jeans, pulling them down in one tug with no elegance or effort to turn me on. Don't get me wrong, it's not as if his fingers so close to the most sensitive area of my body have _no _effect. Until we both realise that he has forgotten about my shoes and my jeans are stuck bunched at my ankles that is. With a grumble of annoyance Hikaru gets down on his knees to untie my shoelaces but unexpectedly he pauses. Slowly his eyes slide up my body to meet mine. The idea probably comes into both our minds simultaneously.

'Kaoru?' My name is phrased as a question.

Immediately I smile, to reassure him.

'Go on,' I tell him.

Without any further encouragement, with a renewed confidence, Hikaru places a hand on my leg just above the knee. I have to take a deep breath to stop myself from shuddering with anticipation. Cautiously he runs his fingertips along the skin. It is hard to stay still, I feel vulnerable, but I notice a slight shake as his hand slips over the leg of my boxers, dragging the material up a little as he moves it. We are both a little nervous and for some reason that reassures me. We are in the same positions; we feel the same emotions.

Lust. Expectation. Uncertainty. _Love_.

Hikaru's hand barely hesitates as it slips in-between my legs and strokes over the bulge inside my boxer shorts. He feels me, cupping my penis and balls in his hand as he has done before and I am immediately getting excited. What he might do to me, the possibilities, are racing through my mind. The thought alone is getting me erect.

Hikaru squeezes me once, gently but firmly before sliding his wandering hand just as slowly as before to the waistband of my boxers. As he does so he brings the other arm up, the one which had previously been pressed against my leg, and slips the fingers of both hands inside the hem of the boxers. Clasping it suddenly and yanking so that I am left half naked he eyes me eagerly up and down.

Thinking practically I shrug out of my jacket and pull off the T-shirt of Hikaru's that I was wearing to comfort me earlier. If his is going to be playing with my penis then I don't want my clothes getting in the way.

'Thank you.' Hikaru's voice is genuine and we grin at each other.

'My pleasure,' I reply. With no warning Hikaru suddenly clasps my limp penis in his hand and slides it into his mouth without breaking my gaze. A strangled whine is drawn out of my mouth at the sight of Hikaru's tempting lips eagerly engulfing me. His large eyes, framed with gorgeous long lashes, never leave my face.

The moistness and heat of his mouth is ensuring that I do not stay limp for long. Hikaru swirls his tongue in circles around the head of my penis in a similar way he stroked it against my tongue earlier. I gasp as it gradually stiffens in his mouth. Soon I am rock hard and my only thought is that I don't think it is possible to feel any better than this. That is until Hikaru begins to slide his lips up and down my erection and proves me wrong.

'Hah!' I pant out as soon as Hikaru's enticing, wet lips rub along the sensitive skin of my erection, stimulating the nerves there in ways I have experienced only in my imagination. His eyes remain locked with mine as he moves forwards and back, forwards and back. I can catch glimpses of the flushed red colour my arousal has become as Hikaru's head bobs back and forth but I don't need to look down to know that my accelerated pulse is making me throb down there; I can _feel_ it.

Suddenly Hikaru sucks.

'Aah,' I groan, panting and jerking my head forward slightly. Automatically my hands reach upwards and latch onto Hikaru's head. Being careful not to hurt him I slip my fingers between the long, soft strands and cling on like a limpet. As Hikaru moves his lips he slides his hands from the sides of my thighs over my ass, massaging the cheeks lovingly. I don't break his gaze; the eye contact maintains a connection between us that makes my heart beat fast, my cheeks flame and my palms sweat.

'Mmm- _God_,' I moan, aching for release. If I wasn't so aroused by the erotic way Hikaru is pleasuring my body and the things he is doing I would worry about what will surely soon happen. Will Hikaru find it disgusting to have my fluid spurting into his mouth? He must already have some idea of the taste, as I know my penis is leaking fluid between his lips in my excitement. Funnily enough Hikaru doesn't seem to mind.

Gradually Hikaru has been pulling his lips along my erection with increasing speed but now I groan in disappointment as he slows and stops, drawing his lips gradually off me, leaving me wet, erect and unsatisfied. Hoping desperately that Hikaru hasn't chickened out about doing this kind of thing with me I let go of his hair with one hand, intending to pump myself quickly to climax. It is my automatic reaction; my bursting body is so desperate to come.

Before I can even brush my fingers against my own aching skin Hikaru's hand is on my penis, gripping firmly and rubbing with slow hand strokes.

'Give me a moment… to get my breath back,' he pants , grinning at me sheepishly.

'Ung- Hikaru… if you -hah- do that… aaaah' I take a deep shuddering breath, 'I'll come.'

'Mmm,' he sighs, taking care to blow against the head of my erection as he speaks, 'Come for me Kaoru.'

Enthusiastically Hikaru sticks out his pointy tongue and licks the slit at the head of my erection. He laps up the smears of white dribbling out, making me pant out his name.

'Hikaru… Hikaru… AH, _Hikaru_!'

My hands half-heartedly attempt to pull his mouth up to engulf my erection once more but even now I don't forget about my brother and I don't pull with any real conviction. Hikaru obeys me anyway and slides me gradually into his mouth again, resuming his frantic pace. This time he uses his hand too, pumping the small part of his penis he is not able to fit into his mouth.

It would take a better man than me to be able to hold out when being given such intense stimulation. I throw my head back but Hikaru pauses when I do so and only resumes again when I glance down in surprise and find myself staring him in the eyes once more. They are gleaming brightly and his hair is dark in the light though one side of it is illuminated orange by the light of the street lamp streaming through the open window. He is so beautiful.

_Damn_ the sight of him makes me want to shoot myself right over his face. Imagining white spurting over his lips, dripping from his skin, spraying into his hair makes me gasp. Getting turned on by this must be some primal desire to mark Hikaru as **mine** because the idea is disgusting really. Still, I feel the unmistakable urge to climax grow between my legs.

Oblivious to my dirty thoughts Hikaru continues pumping on my length with his fingers but he now brings his free hand up, caressing my balls which are taut and straining with arousal. He strokes and rubs them before squeezing so that my mouth drops open and my eyes clench shut.

My entire body is tense. I want to shoot hot cum down Hikaru's erotic throat right now. All I can think about in this moment is coming. I don't care if someone walks in. I don't care about my looks of the sounds I am making. But I feel I should warn Hikaru.

'N-Need to – aah God… coming Hika- _ru_.'

My twins response is to suck hungrily, inviting me to release into his mouth. Suddenly I can't hold back any longer. Hikaru's lips have finally suceeded in caressing the cum out of my penis. My hips jerk once, I feel the familiar gushing sensation and then it is happening. With burst after hot burst of cum my stomach muscles clench and my whole body jerks. I am clutching onto Hikaru's hair to stop myself falling.

'Unnnnng…' I throw back my head and give one long satisfied moan. Hikaru continues everything he has been doing throughout my orgasm, the stroking, the squeezing, the _sucking_. There is one small spurt of white fluid the dribbles out of the corner of Hikaru's mouth. The rest he swallows greedily.

Only now aware how hard I am panting I watch, giving a small moan as Hikaru finally slides my penis out of his mouth, rubs the drip of white fluid from the corner with one thumb and licks it.

Once the pleasure of my orgasm subsides I become aware of how hot it seems to be in this room. My legs tremble and I attempt to take a step to steady myself but I have forgotten the jeans and boxers which are wrapped around my legs. I stumble, thinking I am going to fall. As quickly as if it was his reflex, Hikaru stands and grabs me, holding me steady in his arms.

Sighing in bliss, and a little relief, I kick of the shoes and annoying items of clothing around my ankles and step over them, turning towards Hikaru and putting my arms around him too. Feeling so content and satisfied I nuzzle my nose into his neck, breathing in deeply. We stand there for a few minutes, my heart beating hard, before Hikaru breaks the silence.

'Not tired I hope?'

Grinning up at him I retort cheekily,

'In your dreams. I don't have the stamina of an old man like you do Hikaru.'

Pretending to be offended Hikaru slaps me on the arm but combats the gesture by kissing me on the nose. I don't fail to miss the glint of competition in his eyes though, which makes me sure we will find out soon enough exactly how much stamina we both have.

'Good,' Hikaru smirks in reply, 'because it's my turn now…'

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed this! **

**Next chapter: One word. Lemon.**

**This was originally meant to be full on butt sex but I elaborated so much on the blow job I didn't have room! Not to worry there will be plenty of that in the next chapter. Which will also be the final chapter... wow! **


	8. Chapter 8: Sex, us and lemon lube

Chapter 8

Who is the most gorgeous person in the world? Kaoru. Who do I want to devour every time I realize his perfection (made perfect by his small imperfections; a little cross shaped scar on the side of his knee, a reminder of the time when we were young and played recklessly; a mole on his shoulder blade and the patches of rougher skin on his elbows)? Kaoru. Who do I love more than myself? Kaoru.

And who is currently sidling towards me, a grin on his face, making some remark about it being my turn and wow am I _that _excited already... Well I think the answer to that is pretty evident actually.

'Hikar-_uuu_,' Kaoru whines at me. 'What are you waiting for? Turn the shower on.'

Immediately I grin at him and I am pleased to note when I give the shining silver tap a jerk in the right direction that it takes hardly any time at all for the water gushing out to become steaming hot. Kaoru and I are both sweaty and horny, a hot shower is the best thing we both need right now, especially as I haven't washed in a while.

Eagerly I strip off while Kaoru, already naked, steps into the shower. I don't take my eyes off him as I undress haphazardly. He looks exactly the way he looked when I watched him in the shower before, small rivulets of water running down his back and over the smooth curves of his bum, hair hanging limply around his face and curling around his slender fingers, clinging to them as he runs a hand through it.

This time I don't have to torture myself because I can look _and _I can touch. When I catch sight of a few curls of dark red pubic hair, just visible from between the tops of his thighs, I am stepping inside the tub and behind him before I even know what I am doing. Both Kaoru and the water are deliciously warm as I wrap my arms around him, but I make him shiver a little. The automatic response would be to pull away. Kaoru doesn't. Instead he cheekily pushes his hips back against me, rubbing up and down, once, twice.

'Ah.... HAH!' I huff out automatically. My eyes squeeze shut and my hands grope for Kaoru's hips. I pull him towards me, resting my chin on Kaoru's shoulder as he bucks, barely perceptibly against me. The firm flesh of Kaoru's ass pushes my erection up against my stomach, sandwiching it like a piece of meat between two slices of bread and he _keeps_ _moving_.

'Kaoru,' I gasp, 'don't make me- ah... not so soon.'

'What?' Kaoru stops moving, 'You're ready to come already? I was only kidding about you having no stamina but-'

'It's not my fault,' I interrupt, letting go of Kaoru's hip with one hand and placing my palm against the wall to steady myself, 'it's yours.'

I groan in disappointment as Kaoru moves his bum away from me and turns his head incredulously.

'You turn me on too much for me to control myself,' I mutter under my breath, not meeting Kaoru's eyes.

There is a pause. Finally I glance up to see what Kaoru is doing, but as soon as I do so I find myself being spun around and slammed against the white bathroom tiles. Thankfully they are clean but the droplets of water clinging to them have turned cold and I squirm in discomfort.

As soon as I start to complain Kaoru shuts me up effectively by pushed his face dangerously close to my own. He is so close I can see his dark eyelashes stuck together in clumps by the water and feel his warm breath against my lips as he murmurs to me,

'I'll just have to go very, _very _slowly then, won't I Hikaru?'

'No, Kaoru, don-'

My evil twin cuts me off with a kiss, slowly sliding his lips over my own, our mouths moulding together, except Kaoru's upper lip is on top. I don't think so little brother. I change the position of our mouths so that it is me taking his lips between mine. His tongue makes its way into my mouth after a while and it is so slippery, so erotically disgusting that it makes my cheeks flush. I have the uncontrollable urge to do more. Kaoru seems happy for me to move my arms, which are currently wrapped around his upper body, downwards and I slide my hands over his back, not stopping till I reach his buttocks.

When I arrive at my destination I squeeze. One butt cheek for each hand, perfect. Kaoru pulls his mouth away to gasp and obliges when I pull his ass towards me, straddling his legs either side of mine.

I feel a suspicious semi hardness graze against my stomach and I am incredulous. Kaoru can not only last longer than me but can even get hard again this quickly. It's not fair, he is the _younger_ brother for goodness sake!

Suddenly I am aware that Kaoru is moving his hand, slowly like he promised, down my chest. On the way past my nipple he rubs it, stimulating the flesh until it is erect.

'Erect, just the way I want you to be, Hikaru,' Kaoru leans forward and whispers in my ear, his hand on my hip now. Running his fingers briefly through the damp hair above my erection and tugging on it until I groan, Kaoru's fingertips meet the base of my penis.

Torturously slowly he rubs a finger up it, tracing a vein. My breath is shuddery and hitches when he finally wraps his hand around me, his grip just the right amount of firm, and pulls the skin back. Automatically I clasp a hand over my mouth and close my eyes as Kaoru tugs the skin of my erection up and down, up and down, slowly stimulating every nerve. His other hand is not idle and he rubs his thumb slowly around the sensitive head of my penis, over the slit, again and again with unhurried movements, until he has succeeded in his mission of enticing out pre cum. There is so much that it begins to drip down the length that he is stroking, which only serves to lubricate me and turn me on even more effectively.

It is hard not to come with what Kaoru is doing to me. It is even harder when I watch him bring his cum smeared thumb to his mouth, sucking on it suggestively in and out, in and out, his mouth forming an O around it.

'You lasted this far Hikaru,' Kaoru smirks, 'But can you last through this?'

At once Kaoru increases the pace of his hand, jerking me almost as fast as I would stroke myself to get myself off. The hand clenched over my mouth drops onto Kaoru shoulder, my other hand is pressed hard against the wall to steady myself and my eyes open in surprise. I am gasping like a fish, Kaoru has reduced me to a swollen rock hard penis, a groaning mouth and hot, hot cheeks... at least, that's all I can concentrate on. I can feel the tension building in my groin, each stroke bringing me closer to delicious pleasure. If Kaoru doesn't stop now I'm going to...

'Ung... S-Stop,' I try to moan.

'Why would I do a thing like that?' Kaoru grins, going, if anything, faster.

'Seriously,I mean it- Ah!'

Looking very taken aback, Kaoru halts the movement of his hand. Cheekily, perhaps not able to resist, he gives one last squeeze.

'Uuuuuh!' I groan out. He has pushed me too far to stop now, all I want to do is spray my cum all over his stomach and his erect penis, which is just inches from mine. Beyond my control my hands reach out and grasp his hips. He is still straddling me and so it is easy to grind together. I hump my penis against his flesh desperately, groaning louder and louder.

'Mmm... _yes, _Kao-_ru_, gonna-'

'Ah, _Hikaru_.'

Kaoru's tiny gasp of arousal throws me over the edge. I continue to rub myself against him throughout my orgasm as my stomach muscles contract, rubbing the skin of my penis frantically as spurts of white fluid burst from the tip. All I can do is moan loudly, clasping Kaoru's body to me in ecstasy. When I am done cum drips from the tip of my penis, from Kaoru's stomach and even from the wall but I can't bring myself to care.

I feel too incredible.

Uselessly, I stand there panting hard and Kaoru gently guides me under the steady stream of water. All evidence of my orgasm washes away from my body, swirling down the plug hole. Kaoru forces the bottle of soap, from the welcome pack I was given, into my hand and we begin to wash each other.

'Why did you tell me to stop?' Kaoru asks me after a short while, raising his voice slightly to be heard over the sound of the shower. I shake my head slightly; too embarrassed to tell him but he won't have it.

'Tell me,' he wheedles, 'tell me, tell me.' As he asks me he prods me in the ribs making me wriggle.

'Okay, okay, stop. _Stop_,' I complain, 'I didn't want to come because well, now look.'

I gesture downwards and Kaoru follows my hand to catch sight of my now completely flaccid, completely useless penis.

'Ah I see,' Kaoru grins, placing the back of his hand against his forehead in a mock melodramatic gesture, 'I am too attractive for you, you just can't resist me, such a shame. Don't worry Hikaru,' he continues, suddenly serious, 'I know what to do with brothers who have no will power...'

Immediately Kaoru shuts off the water and I turn my face up to catch the last drops as it runs to a trickle.

'Come on.' Kaoru chucks me a white, fluffy towel before heading back out of the bathroom and I quickly pat myself dry with it before letting it pool on the bathroom floor and padding across the living room naked.

'Kaoru?'

'In here Hikaru,' Kaoru calls from the bedroom and I hurry inside.

Just inside the door I stop short. Kaoru is splayed out naked on the bed. He is lying on his back, still completely aroused, his erection straining up in the air. His legs are spread wide apart and as I watch he tilts his hips up and begins slowly rubbing the skin of his penis up and down, jerking himself off blatantly.

'Think I can arouse you again Hikaru?' he asks.

'Hmm, I don't know,' I grin in response, closing the door behind me then pressing my back against the wall directly in front of the bed so that I have the best view of it. So that I have the best view of Kaoru.

Then I notice a small bottle in his hand.

'What's that?' I ask, squinting at it.

'Well,' Kaoru gives me a sly smile, 'The thought of having your huge, straining erection rammed up my hot, tight asshole turns me on like hell. So that's what we're going to do. If I don't prepare myself though, it's going to _hurt_ like hell. So this,' here he shakes the bottle at me, 'is a nice slippery lubricant to spread all the way up inside me so you can slide in and out, more easily. Lemon flavoured lubricant.'

'Where did you get it?'

'Sex shop,' Kaoru shrugs as if it is no big deal, 'Got some anal beads if you fancy using them on me and a cock ring... I mean if that's not your thing I can always use them on myself...'

I shiver slightly. Kaoru is deliberately trying to turn me on and it's working, usually it would be impossible not to get hard faced with such stimulation, but my penis remains flaccid. It is embarrassing not being able to 'get it up' but in my defence I don't think many people would be able to _this_ quickly. However I haven't taken into account what Kaoru is going to do next.

Mesmerised, I watch my twin flick open the cap of the lube bottle nonchalantly and dribble some on his fingers, scissoring them so that strings of lube form then snap.

'Where does this go, Hikaru?' he asks with a smirk before rolling agilely onto his front, and kneeling up with his legs wide apart so that I have the best view of his ass. I hear myself let out a small groan as Kaoru spreads lube all the way up his ass crack, then slips the first finger inside. I watch as he carefully pushes it in to the hilt.

'Mmm,' he sighs, 'I can just imagine this is your finger Hikaru. It's easy seeing as our fingers are identical. You are stroking me, curling your finger inside me and- ah!'. I realise Kaoru has made himself moan by stroking his own prostate and amazingly I feel myself getting hard.

As Kaoru adds another finger, pushing and pulling in and out, gasping and moaning, I stiffen further. By the time he applies a third finger and a little more lube, grunting a little and shifting his hips back and forward to meet his thrusting fingers I can hardly hold back.

'Hikaru,' he pants and when he turns his head slightly, his flushed cheeks and wide pupils make me just want to shove inside him with no manners and no holding back. And it seems Kaoru is thinking along the same lines as I am.

'I want you inside me Hikaru. Or else, ah!' Kaoru breaks off, indulging himself for a moment by stroking his prostate again before focusing once more on me, 'I'll come,' he moans.

No further encouragement is needed. Immediately, I scramble forwards onto the bed, clasp Kaoru's hip with one hand and my now tense, rigid penis in the other. Kaoru leans round and clasps me in his hand as well, helping to guide me in.

It's wonderful. Kaoru is hot, wet and tight just as he promised and just as I imagined. Many times now I have visualised being inside him but this is even more wonderful than my expectations. I slide in to the hilt and pause, stroking Kaoru's lower back in case I am hurting him. It is strange, I was so turned on I wasn't even nervous but now I am slightly anxious that Kaoru isn't enjoying this as much as I am.

'Ung, Hikaru.' I tense against him.

'A-Are you okay?' I stutter but then I feel his hips buck against me.

'What are you _doing_?' he moans, 'move.'

Oh. That wasn't what I expected. He thrusts against me again and this time I meet his thrust with a groan. Slowly I move back and forth a couple of times until I really can't hold back. Clasping Kaoru's hips hard I begin to push inside him, faster, deeper.

'Uh, uh, uh,' he gasps at each fast thrust and it only spurs me on to move faster. I feel him clench around me and throw my head back, not caring what I look like, only focussing on prolonging the intense feelings I am experiencing. Everything is made better by the fact I love Kaoru, so damn much.

'W-Wank me off,' Kaoru gasps, grabbing my hand and placing it on his cock. I squeeze first then drag the skin back and forth fast.

'Gonna come Hikaru?' Kaoru asks.

'Mm,' is all I can reply, and then I repeat the noise only louder. 'Mmmm!'

Finally the stimulation becomes too much. The sight of Kaoru's perfectly round bum with my erection, shiny with lube, disappearing between the cheeks, the sound of his quiet gasps, incoherent murmurs and not so quiet groans as I push extra hard against just the right spot and the feeling of being squeezed and rubbed faster and faster, is just too much. My arousal is like a Christmas cracker, pulled to its limit.

And then with a feeling equivalent to the bang of a cracker or the explosion of a firework I come. Desperately I stroke Kaoru as I repeat his name.

'Uh, Kaoru, KAORU... _God_!'

I rock against him, releasing deep inside him. I would have thought it was impossible to feel any better in this moment if it wasn't for Kaoru's sudden load groan and the feeling of his penis jerking against my hand, telling me he is coming too. He is coming because of _me_.

Gasping and sweaty we both flop down on the bed simultaneously. I don't fail to notice the erotic trails of cum seeping down his thighs, his chest frantically rising and falling and his tongue running along his pink lips that have dried from all the panting. On impulse I roll on top of Kaoru, careful not to put any weight on him and give him a lingering kiss on the lips.

'Thank you,' I sigh.

'Why are you thanking me?' he asks with a tired smile.

'For being so wonderful. For making me feel so wonderful. For letting me do _that_.'

'Ah,' he puts his arms around my and snuggles his head my chest, 'But I wanted to do it silly. I love you.'

'Hmm?' I say grinning at him, 'Didn't quite catch that...'

'I love you. I love you. I love you.' Each of Kaoru's I love you's is punctuated by a kiss on the lips until I roll over and reciprocate.

'I love you,' I smile, pulling him in for a kiss too but I am interrupted by a sudden loud knock on the door.

'Kaoru get the door,' I tell him, flopping back against the pillows, too lazy to move.

'You get it.'

'You're closer.'

'You came first...'

'What?!'

'Okay, okay,' Kaoru grins, 'I'll go.' Immediately I feel guilty for letting him get it and as he has already pulled the sheet from the bed to wrap around his middle I grab the hotel provided gown and hurry after him. He opens the door and I sneak up behind him. Hidden out of view, I begin kissing his neck and stroking his ass through the sheet, rumpling it. Then I glance up to see who it is.

There is a porter at the door, bowing slightly though his formal uniform is slightly rumpled and he has a Christmas hat on his head. Tinsel is spilling out of his pocket. I assume that it is the Christmas party downstairs or something similar, especially as there is a sudden strong smell of alcohol in the air. Then he straightens up and Kaoru and I blurt out simultaneously, 'You?!'.

Standing there, still wearing no shoes and still kind of annoyingly attractive, is Kano.

He seems just as shocked to see us as we are to see him and he takes a couple of steps backwards, nearly tripping over his own feet.

'Sorry,' he mutters, acting completely differently to the confident flirt I met before, 'I was called up here about noise disturbance.' Amazingly quickly he overcomes the shock and his confidence visibly returns. He leans against the doorframe casually, looks us both enthusiastically up and down and drawls out, 'You guys were having a little too much fun I take it. I'm glad you made up.'

Although I can't bring it in me to hate this guy, I am uncertain about the way he is looking at Kaoru and I reach for my twin's hand, winding our fingers together tightly.

'You helped a lot in that actually,' Kaoru smiles.

'Thank you,' I mutter, trying not to look into his annoyingly enticing eyes.

'Well, I'll leave you to it then, enjoy those... items you bought earlier, ' Kano grins, 'Just try and keep it down, 'kay?'

He is turning to go and suddenly something twinges inside of me. I reach out a hand to stop him but Kaoru gets there first.

'Oh, I don't know,' I hear Kaoru's voice beside me. He uses his free hand, the one not being clutched possessively by me, to scratch nonchalantly at the back of his head.

Then he looks at me. I look at him. It has always been one of our twin things, knowing what the other person is going to say and I know exactly what Kaoru is thinking.

In unison, holding hands defiantly, not bothering to hide at all that Kaoru's hair is tousled, my dressing gown is open with absolutely nothing underneath and there is a suspicious smell of salt and lemon in the air, in perfect unison we say:

'We've always fancied a bit of ménage a trios.'

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed this!**

**Well now, aren't the twins naughty? I started this a year ago, just before last Christmas and so I wanted to finish it before Christmas this year... If it seems a little hurried I apologise. In England it has actually been Christmas day for two hours. Oh well, I finished! **

**Thank you to anyone who hasn't given up on this fic. Congratulations, you lasted a year! To all my reviews and all my readers who lurk inthe shadows but keep coming back for more, thank you and to **_mizzshy _**my beta, love and hugs and thanks!**

**[/strange Hollywood style thank you speech] **

**There is just one thing left to say. Happy Christmas to you all!  
**


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